this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
