There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
