just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
