Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I can't trust your balls anymore.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Randomize
