i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
