At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
