All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
