Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
