is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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