Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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