I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
