...so i touched it.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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