hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My ass is underappreciated
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Randomize
