If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
