Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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