Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Randomize
