Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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