K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
