But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
