and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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