Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
