yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
