his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Is it penis luge time yet?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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