I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
