woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
