My room smells like vodka and shame
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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