All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
