I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
