Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
