I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize
