There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
