Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
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