3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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