love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
