The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
