Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
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