I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
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