I wanna bring you to show and tell
I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
