i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I met the friendliest cop last night
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
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