Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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