i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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