if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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