you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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