I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
