Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
