don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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