I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
