You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
