I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
