im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
