Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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