I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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