Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
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