they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize