i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
