OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
