I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
