Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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