I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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