do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
