found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
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