well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
