Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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