haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
